Tattooing for Parents and Teens

An informed "tattoo talk" can be surprising and enlightening for both parents and teenagers.

Parents and teens

Tattooing has a bad name for many parents of teens. Parents regard it as irreversible self-mutilation, done in a passion and to be regretted later, or as a purely negative act of defiance. Teens see it as a sign of their emerging autonomy and identity, a way of fitting in (what’s wrong with that?), or simply as an aesthetic embellishment of their bodies, a more permanent version of trendy clothes and make-up. Once these two views collide, how to get out of the impasse?

Legal age?

Parents, don’t think the issue is a dead one, since in some countries and most US states there is a legal age for tattooing (usually 18, check though; there is very little FDA involvement). First of all, teens are notorious for “finding a way” (to put it euphemistically). Secondly, in some localities a signed parental consent form can lower the required age (this is not always the case, so check). Either way, it is safe to say that you will come across the issue sooner or later.

The tattoo talk

First off, if you think that the “tattoo talk” is of the same kind as the talk about smoking or unsafe sex, may I suggest otherwise. There are good reasons for getting a tattoo (given, of course, first of all, that it is legal). There are bad reasons too. If you sit down to discuss all of these, either party may change their mind, everyone will learn, and an agreement becomes at least possible.

Tattoo history and responsibility

The key for both of you is information. Research the long and truly venerably history of tattooing together. Discover the societal and psychological functions of tattooing in general and of tattoo images in particular. Become aware of the implications and responsibilities of bearing a tattoo: if you carry a tattoo, you carry a message.

Then discuss the reasons why your teen wants one. What is the message they want to convey, and is this particular tattoo, or any tattoo, the best way to go? Are they merely giving in to a peer-pressured fad – “a permanent reminder of a temporary feeling," to quote Jimmy Buffett (how uncool!)? Or have they grasped something more essential, more meaningful about the custom, and might that not be admirable? Or, from the teen’s perspective, a little too much to handle after all?

Research on the internet

The internet is the first place to look, but be selective. Commercial websites that want to represent tattooing in a legitimate background, sell their ad space to venues that are less than acceptable to a parents who are already on their guard. Better not direct your Mom to a “History and Culture of Tattooing” page that is likely to bombard her with the flashing images of barely clad women, or (heaven forbid) an ad for a motorbike!

On the other hand, both you and your parents might be tempted to regard the more “respectable” information on museum or academic sites as so much history and anthropology, irrelevant to your modern Western situation. So what if Otzi, the Copper Age “Ice Man”, got inked 5,000 years ago, or if the Maoris still use it to show social status and to mark rites of passage? But consider this: getting a tattoo means attaching yourself not just to a group in your present day and place, but also taking your place in a rich fabric woven over millennia and by many cultures.

Further reading

So read on about the history of tattooing, and its many functions and meanings.

If and when you do go ahead (hopefully together), read these tips, resources and facts about tattooing among US adults.

Were you hoping for a list of the good and the bad reasons? I am sorry to disappoint. But you’re both of you old enough to come up with those.


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